The Eastern Suburbs Experiment, Part II

October 1, 2006 at 5:15 am (Uncategorized)

You know I’m right. Come on, admit it. Pay up. Line my pockets with GOLD. I’ll have a smiley stamp, gold star, and big tick on my work, thanks. Seriously, it’s just not that big an accomplishment getting across town, but congratulations, you intrepid souls, you did it!

Lunch was fun. Will and Toby’s is seriously great, not because the food’s particularly fabulous, and certainly not because it’s usually packed to the rafters with wankers – refugees from Will and Toby’s Darlinghurst days – but because the fit-out is just lovely. You can be seated at the worst table in the house (oh, look at that – we were!), and you’ll still get jaw-dropping views of the ocean. They have these great floor to ceiling windows that push right back, so it’s one of the airiest, lightest, beachiest places I have ever been to, and I’ve been to a few. I really love it. I love it enough to overlook all its flaws and in doing so, I leave very happy every time I go there. It’s a truly lovely space. I like space and spaces a lot, and this one really does its job well. Which is why I just DON’T GET the bathrooms. The ladies is a pitch dark little hovel. One of the worst toilets in Sydney. I mean, it’s clean and everything, and has mosaic tiles and expensive basins and bowls, but it’s so dark you really have no way of knowing if you’ve sufficiently wiped your arse. It’s a real battle of wits in there, and only the strongest will emerge with their make-up properly reapplied rather than looking like they fell asleep under the sun lamp.

Anyway, Cas had a great birthday celebration. We had yummy lightly crumbed prawns and risotto balls over the first champagne, then calamari to start – their version is disappointing – and I was really happy with my main. I had Kingfish and it was really moist and tasty. Llew wasn’t thrilled with his steak, but they do excellent shoe string fries and there were no complaints about the bowl of those bad boys that landed at his elbow. And we drank lots.

Then we had to go to a dinner I won’t even bother to describe, the food was so disappointing. I’d heard great things about the restaurant, too, so it was even more of a shock to find my pork cutlet was so dry that eating it took off the roof of my mouth. Not a fan. And I was making more sophisticated pasta dishes when I was four. Anyway, that’s not what I want to talk to you about. I want to talk to you about the BOTOX. Or whatever the hell it is that was injected into the faces of girls at BOTH events. I’ve heard of Botox injections being auctioned at school fundraisers across Sydney (we, as a city, are nothing if not excessively self-conscious, so Botox has found its spiritual home here), but I never expected to be sitting opposite it at table. It’s never entered my world before. One girl – whom I have always regarded as an absolute English rose, she’s just gorgeous, – MUST HAVE done something to her lips. Bee stung? More like hive mauled. I was mesmerised. And Llew noticed all on his own, so I know I didn’t imagine it. I was so, so tempted to say “Um, what’s wrong with your lips?” but I was too speechless. Besides, my dry pork was stuck in my throat making me gag. And there was a woman at Cas’s whose face doesn’t move anymore. Her skin looks all waxy and, yes, smooth, but sort of frightening and deeply unnatural. How does she convey emotion? By writing everything down? She sure as hell can’t frown to express displeasure. I found it all very eerie. We’re just NOT THAT OLD. Why are they pumping some crap INTO their faces? And anyway, age obsessions aside, it’s YOUR FACE, for god’s sake. Your face. Your one and only, uniquely yours, never-to-be-repeated face. Why would you do that to your window to the world?



  1. dada said,

    well hello dr di, this is most exciting…congrats on your log bog….am not really sure how to comment as am a virg at all of this but just thought to say hi i’m back and ready to get into the food, vino and retail therapy antics of italia…….yummmmbo.

    have booked in for some botox…just on my ass cheeks……so perhaps we could meet after my session?
    ciao ciao,

  2. doctordi said,

    Ah yes, arse cheeks – the OTHER face we routinely show to the world…
    Welcome home, Soph, and I am ready to chow on down – I have been in training. Yesterday I ate a whole box of Barbeque Shapes in one sitting, right before dinner. Now I’m constipated.

  3. matteo said,

    cool blog

  4. doctordi said,

    Thanks very much, Matteo – welcome!!

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