Just Pull Your Pants Up.

October 11, 2006 at 9:53 am (Uncategorized)

Just pull them up, boys. Joke’s over. There’s nothing to see here, or at least there shouldn’t be. Please pull them up now. Yes, you, and you, and you, and every other half-arsed (pun intended) fashion tragic out there who thinks it’s cool to walk around with your pants down.

It’s not sexy, it’s not clever. It’s stupid. Why oh WHY haven’t common sense and good taste prevailed by now?? Why is there still so much ABSURD arse crack on display, and why do they bother wearing belts when they’ve patently got no interest in keeping anything up past the cheeks?

There are so many pressing and worrying questions about this phenomenon. Why did it take off in the first place? Why didn’t it pass quickly and then follow the trail blazed by the fluorescent sock? Why don’t they trip more often since they’re walking around with their pants around their ankles? Why bother putting pants on at all? Why do they think the chicks will dig it? Why do their friends agree to be seen in public with them? Why haven’t we turned it into a game called ‘Slot the Aussie’? Why aren’t they concerned about the flies getting in? Why do they deliberately, affectedly push their pants down a notch when half their underpants are already exposed? Why does something so absolutely self-conscious, uncomfortable and idiotic resonate with so many Australian man-boys? Why does anyone think this “look” is an act of rebellion when it is so (albeit most regrettably) mainstream? Why haven’t its exponents tired of exposing their arses to the world? It’s so done. It’s so over. It’s so silly. Please make it stop.

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