Strata Shaft*

May 4, 2007 at 1:06 am (Uncategorized)

Are you tired of paying exorbitant levies? Do those quarterly bills from your strata management seem to arrive with alarming frequency? Do you ever question what it is exactly that they’ve done for you lately? Does it ever seem like you’re handing over your hard-earned cash for absolutely no good reason at all? Does your strata management put the levies up every year without increasing the sinking fund? If you’ve answered yes to all of the above, then congratulations, because you’ve joined a growing number of apartment-living home owners who are all suffering from STRATA SHAFT! Yes, that’s STRATA SHAFT, coming to an apartment block near you!

Leaking in the communal area? Big deal! White ants threatening the foundations? Get over it! Fire danger in the laundry? C’mon, live a little! Why worry about these minor matters when you’re in such safe hands? Why worry about how much it’s costing you to retain a management firm who have absolutely nothing to do? No pool? No concierge? No tennis court? No security? No garden? No amenities at all? No matter, those levies are still going to knock your socks off! That’s right – for an unlimited time only, you can pay twice as much as you should!

Don’t miss out! This offer won’t last – this could be your last chance to get STRATA SHAFT!! And don’t forget, if you buy an apartment RIGHT NOW, and our operators are waiting to take your call, you could receive, absolutely loaded with charges, your very own incompetent and expensive strata management firm! It’s true – get on board the sinking ship whilst you still can! That’s 1800-SHAFT, operators are waiting now. That number again is 1800-SHAFT. Go ahead – pick up the phone. Because you don’t deserve it! Because you’re worthless! Go ahead – don’t reward yourself!

*An explanatory note for international readers: if you own an apartment here in Australia, if you’re in a block, then all the communal areas and so forth require management. If you want to renovate your place, remove a wall, change the external appearance of your bit of the block, or anything of the sort, then you require permission from the Owners’ Corporation. Because this very quickly gets very nasty, apartment blocks have an external strata management firm who manage the property and collect dues. They also have something called a ‘sinking fund’ to pay for repairs to the building, and they make sure the property is insured. In our case, I believe we’re paying our current strata management firm way, way too much for the service they are providing. We’re paying so much money, almost all of it in fees, and virtually nothing is going into the sinking fund. We just don’t have a property with expensive amenities that require constant maintenance. In fact, we don’t have any.

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2 Comments

  1. adminsmit said,

    I know I am a few years too late -(i hear you saying typical of all strata managers!!!) but I love your article!

    The strata management company I work for has me on board because I care about their customers and they seem to have faced up to the fact that people don’t really know what they do.
    Part of the remedy has been to introduce (at great investment) a database system that gives each building its own private website – owners can see everything going on at their building – check it out – the changing face of Strata Management in NSW!!!

    Boy does this industry need aface change!!
    Thanks for providing a giggle – even if it was a few years ago!

    • doctordi said,

      Better late than never, Adminsmit – welcome to DoctorDi! You’ll be glad to know that since having this little rant, I led a revolt against our previous strata “managers,” and we’re now with a much better agency. Interesting to hear about these changes – thanks for the info!

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