Parents and Peers

May 14, 2007 at 4:35 am (Uncategorized)

Another beautiful, if initially foggy, Sydney day. Considering we are a fortnight away from the first day of winter, things are looking pretty encouraging outside.

It was Mother’s Day here yesterday, and Llew and I had a lovely weekend with his parents and sister up in Palm Beach. We arrived Saturday evening and stayed until late afternoon yesterday. Saturday night was a fantastic Thai-nosh – Llew’s mum is an excellent cook – and yesterday we went sailing on Pittwater before a picnic-style lunch on the boat sitting in the sunshine at the Basin. A perfect family day and boy, we’re just so lucky to get the chance to get out on the water and appreciate that very beautiful part of the world.

Mother’s and Father’s Day always give me pause because I am completely estranged from my parents. I don’t think too much about it, generally speaking, because it’s all very resolved in my mind. On those two days, however, it would be slightly strange if I didn’t think about it, just because there is such a super-abundance of material telling me how fantastic all mums and dads are, and how much I should appreciate mine and lavish them with gifts, affection and gratitude. Except I don’t feel that way at all. That’s simply not the situation.

I am lucky to have a wonderful relationship with Llew’s parents and siblings. I am incredibly fortunate to have them in my life. My sister and her family live far away, so unfortunately we rarely see each other, and whilst my surviving grandparent does live in Sydney and we do have a good relationship these days, I was never the grandchild she was close to, and we’re never going to be particularly simpatico. That’s life; I was very close to my granddad. So it’s great to still have a mother figure in my life in my mother-in-law, and it’s also lovely to be able to show Llew’s mum my appreciation for the love, friendship, and encouragement she has generously extended to me.

The thing that amazes me about Mother’s Day these days is realising just how many of my friends are now mums themselves. Some of my friends already have two kids. The odd friend has three. And that blows my mind, just how many of them now celebrate Mother’s Day from a completely different perspective. And how quickly it seems to have happened. It’s a lovely thing to think about, all those friends who are now parents. Mine weren’t great, but now I’ve got so many other sets of parents I can celebrate, that really doesn’t matter at all.



  1. sheena said,

    having just become a mum, well 15 months ago, am a huge convert to the whole thing as you can imagine. it is a bloody hard job and i am fully in favour of getting a whole lot of appreciation on that day, even if at this stage dom still has to channel zac’s adoration (surely?) of me.
    seriously, despite my general anti-hallmark stance on things, i do think that it is always worth taking a pause in our busy lives to ponder on our mothers and what they have or haven’t done for us. you are right, celebration of motherhood, either your own mum, your childrens or some other significant mum in your life, has to be a good thing.

  2. doctordi said,

    Survival of the species, etc… I definitely think mums in general earn their day off! You know, I also think it’s worth taking pause in our busy lives to ponder just about anything other than our busy lives…And those hallmark-driven dates, much as we gnash our teeth over the commercial, suckered element inherent in all these made-up holidays, do tend to achieve at least that. A lot of families spent some time together yesterday specifically because it was Mother’s Day, and I’m not sure that can be any bad thing.

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