Farewell, Sweet Prince…

August 16, 2007 at 5:23 am (Uncategorized)

A couple of weeks ago, Llew and I started renting Sex and the City DVDs to keep ourselves amused during some of those winter nights at home. We play DVDs through our projector, and it’s a very dangerous habit getting all your old favourites up on the big screen. Anyway, Sex and the City stands up against the ravages of time just as well as its stars – it was just a really good, funny show, and I can’t wait for the movie (please let the rumours be true that it’s back on the table).

After one cold night in, I emailed Sarah the next day and said “How hot is John Corbett??!! Just watched the episode when Carrie (SJP) tells Aidan (JC) about her affair with Big (CN), and phwooooah!!!”

Sarah wrote back: “That’s weird. Ming [her flatmate] and I watched that same episode just the other night. I prefer him later on, with short hair and no paunch.”

I respond, thinking ‘Don’t even get me started’: “God, yes. We were watching Northern Exposure DVDs a little while ago, and he’s looking pretty fine back then, too. Can’t wait to get to the Carrie and Aidan redux episodes. The only thing that disturbs me is the recurrence of the long hair/bad turquoise jewellery look right across his oeuvre. It’s there in Northern Exposure, it’s there in Sex and the City, it’s there in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and I’m pretty sure it’s there in Raising Helen. I’m starting to get a little concerned that it’s John Corbett, not his characters. What if that’s the real him?”

Once the idea is lodged in my brain, I have a Carrie-esque moment: “I couldn’t help but wonder, how much does art imitate life, and is John Corbett only truly hot when he’s not?”

This led to a trusty Google search. “John Corbett” immediately turned up the John Corbett Band official website. “Oh God,” I said aloud. “Please don’t let John Corbett be just another music-has-always-been-my-first-love actor.” We all know how well that turns out (see Crowe, Russell), just like those models who have only ever wanted to act. I start cringing even as I click the link…

The subject line of my next email to Sarah? “Our worst fears realised.”

Then: “Just as we suspected…”

Sarah: “Please God, no.”

Di: “What is it with North Americans and that whole long hair, bad jewellery, country music thing?”

Sarah: “I don’t know, but I think it’s put me off him for life.”

Di: “Me too. Goodbye, John, you big stud. Thanks for the memories.”

I forgot all about it until Llew and I actually got to the next season of SATC, where we find Aidan (JC) trimmed of the jowls, paunch, sideburns, and mullet. Praise be. The man just looks soooo hot in those episodes I could almost forgive him this. Almost, but not quite. The thing that really IRKS me is that there are so precious, precious few decent fantasy figures out there for girls. Honestly. Name a big strapping lad on the small or big screen who just reeks of masculinity (remember when Aidan asks Carrie to rub his belly after he eats a bucket of KFC? There’s no way that guy is anything but a MAN) the way John Corbett does in Sex and the City. Come on. I dare you, because I can’t think of one. Men have so much to choose from – it’s a cornucopia of cup size and collagen for them, hot women everywhere, as far as the eye can rove – but if you ask me, John Corbett was one of too few objects of televisual desire for the ladies. And now he’s gone and wrecked it all with that damned dang-da-dang-dang music. I can’t bear it.

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2 Comments

  1. sheena said,

    that is too funny and so true. am thinking hard of a decent fantasy figure and am coming up with nothing…watch this space as there has to be someone….

  2. doctordi said,

    I’m still racking my brain. The best I’ve come up with so far is Australia’s very own Tom Williams. Maybe he can’t act, but he sure can dance. Old Tom is very tasty to look at, but I’ve heard a persistent rumour that he’s having a grand love affair with, er, Tom. This rumour competes with an even more alarming one: that Tom and Tom can’t find a single interesting thing to talk about between them. So… thinking caps (sorry, Tom, darling, apparently you don’t qualify for one of those) back on, girls.

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