Slap Me Again, I Like It.

October 11, 2007 at 3:11 am (Uncategorized)

I’ve altered my strategy for this whole unpublished author gambit, because I’ve decided my hitherto reasonably passive approach is for the birds. It’s time to get aggressive. I used to be in sales, for God’s sake, so surely I can reach back into my trusty arsenal and give myself a few common sense, practical slaps across the face. Wise up, dumb arse: that’s my new motto. What do you think? Do you like it? I do. It says everything it needs to say and is kind of zesty to boot.

When I look at the synopsis I merrily sent off with my Vogel entry, I cringe. I don’t even know what I was thinking. Talk about making it hard for the reader. And what shocks me about it is that I know perfectly well that rule 1.01 of any writing is to think about your reader. And you don’t want to think of them in a sadistic way (this is going hurt and hurt you good; no pain, no gain, loser, so drop and gimme twenty), you want to think of them in a benevolent, almost super hostess, Delia Smith kind of way (let me take your coat, fix you a drink, and show you a spot of my incredible cleavage whilst you get comfortable and I make life really, really easy for you). I know this rule, and yet what did I do? I made it hard for the reader. This is a sackable offence.

So now I’m doing the work that’s necessary to make it easy for the reader. I’m sending it off for a professional manuscript appraisal, so that will help, but I’ve done a lot of work already in preparation for that. Whoever cops it at the appraisal service, you see, also deserves something better than what I sent out the last time. My first synopsis is totally set up to obfuscate. I don’t even know what it’s about and I wrote the damn thing. Needless to say the new one is unrecognisable, and even takes a [very important, hitherto missing] stab at defining my MS’s genre and intended audience. Clarity. That’s what a synopsis requires, and if I can’t be clear about what the MS is about and who the hell would want to read it, then I can’t very well expect someone else to do that work for me, can I? Nope. I change the sheets around here.

I only hit me when I deserve it (SLAP!).


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