Movember Merch

January 22, 2008 at 9:13 am (Uncategorized)

A package arrived for Llew yesterday. It was a box. On top of the box was the unmistakable Movember logo: a great curly ‘tash. Hmm, I thought, carrying the box inside, more merch??

When Llew got home, he said exactly the same thing. And then he opened his box. It was a gift from the good people at Movember, thanking him for his excellent fundraising efforts and welcoming him to the exclusive and giddy heights of their Platinum Club (its members are those fundraisers who find sponsorship in excess of $1,000.00 for growing their mo’ for the month of Movember). Let me tell you about the gift.

It was an enormous ceramic mug, just the kind you see left behind at the end of sales conferences right across the globe. Who are marketing people, and how do we have them shot? Talk about unwanted Christmas presents… these guys specialise in pushing unwanted gifts. It’s their whole job description: must distribute copious crap.

Because, you see, this mug is no ordinary mug. It’s a novelty mug. Llew held it up for me to see inside, and there it was, just as we’d feared: the ‘tash shelf. The mo’ ledge.
“I suppose it’s really quite clever,” said Llew, clearly still leaning toward the charitable side of things. “You can drink your coffee – or milk – without getting a, without being left with a, with a, well, with a moustache.”

Oh yes, it was a stroke of genius.

The rest of the campaign is SO WELL BRANDED I hope they’ve won loads and loads of prizes. It’s really well done. It’s also all done in aid of two excellent causes. But hold the Movember Merch, please, people. We don’t want any. It’s the second such package that has darkened our door – the other was some other piece of cheap shit we didn’t want – and both of us were left feeling frustrated at the sheer waste of Llew’s fundraising efforts. Stop spending that money on the Platinum and other Clubs. Stop. By the time Movember has stopped shipping out the merchandise, several people who donated to Llew might as well have gone off for a long lunch, not caring a whit if they walked out with a big fat slug of a red wine ‘tash.

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