Now there’s a breaking news headline you don’t see every day:
US PLANE CRASHES INTO NY RIVER, ALL SAFE
Great, isn’t it? I think it’s maybe flown straight into my all-time Top Five. And it wasn’t like it was a seaplane or a little twin engine Cessna, in which case you just might be able to get yourself and the pilot out your own tin-can side door. No, this was an Airbus. A proper plane, full of people. 155 people, no less. And it didn’t actually crash into the Hudson, either; no, technically speaking, this plane landed on the Hudson. As the college caretaker said when he came across my room’s beer fridge one day, as we hid in the loft with our fists stuffed in our mouths to stop the giggling, “If that don’t beat all.”
I’ve always thought this particular part of the pre-flight safety demonstration was suspect at best and outright deceitful on any other reading. “Sure,” I always think to myself (I’ve even put this in a short story), “this will really save the day when we fall from the sky and land on the water. Because that’s what always happens. You hear about it all the time. Sure you do. And that’s when those inflatable slippery dips will really come in handy, like giant yellow floaties.”
I always take the time to roll my eyes at the – what are we supposed to call them now? I’m going to get it wrong. May I please just say ‘stewardess’ and ask that no one judge me too harshly for it? Thank you – I roll my eyes at the stewardess during this part of the demonstration, just to let them know that I know it’s a big load of guff. There ain’t no plane landing on no water, no way, no how. Ain’t gonna happen.
Until today. What are they calling the pilot? Super Sully, I think it is, and that is okay by me. It is certainly pretty super.
Of all the unlikely scenarios. But how wonderful that all those people are safe and well. I love a happy ending, and I bet Super Sully’s family is as proud as punch of their boy today.
[this is about half the size of the original post, which was lost thanks to an infuriating day of computer glitches.]