Admin A-Go-Go

May 25, 2009 at 9:51 am (Uncategorized)

I’ve been to the Post Office and filled in the redirection forms for Nana’s mail. I’ve been to Telstra to organise getting the phone disconnected and the final bill forwarded to me for payment. I’ve written a letter explaining Nana’s change of address and circumstances to send out to people in her address book. I’ve gone to the bank and asked for her statements to be redirected. I’ve emailed her podiatrist. I’ve called her (she was actually really lucid – or at least lucid-sounding… there’s a critical difference that’s not always detectable to the uninitiated, but I like to think of myself as having been well and truly dunked in the river). I’ve had texts and emails back and forth with my sister (who visited today and was told by Nana that it’s been a very long time since she last heard from me – I seem destined to be an early casualty. Repeatedly.) I’ve emailed the assistant care centre manager and asked her to tell me how Nana’s settling in from a professional perspective… And that’s just this afternoon’s activities. That’s just for starters. We’re only getting warmed up. 

Let me be frank. I had a shit weekend, and I hated lots of it. I’m not gonna lie. It was fucked. It started well – L and D came over for dinner (French onion soup with parmesan toasts for starter, moussaka for main. L brought homemade brownies which we served warm with vanilla ice-cream), and that was lovely. I was juuuust starting to actually relax when a few friends dropped in for a drink. One of them promptly dropped and smashed a full glass of red wine all over our newly reupholstered white-with-grey-flecks-linen couch. Ordinarily, I’d understand that it’s only what we deserve for getting such a stupidly impractical but so lovely fabric. But the fact is, this particular person drops and smashes a full glass of wine pretty much every time she crosses my threshold. New sandstone pavers in the courtyard? Red wine, glass, maiden showing. It’s enough to really give you the shits. And look. I have the shits. I think I even said something narky like, “Oh no, don’t worry, it really wouldn’t be a visit from you without the glass shards and wine stains spraying out all over our home.” 

Later she stood in the hallway with water from her tilted glass pooling at her feet. 

“Don’t look down,” she said. 

No, it would be much better just to slip and slide into an early grave so I don’t have to host you in my house anymore. That sounds nice. I wonder sometimes if she does it on purpose, but another friend said, “No, she’s just careless. She’s done it at my place. She used to do it all the time at J and J’s house. It’s not just you.” Okay, so she’s careless. But you have to wonder. Being that careless with other people’s property… it’s just disrespectful, isn’t it? I think it really betrays a basic disrespect for my home, my repeated (really-ought-to-know-better) hospitality, and me. So, I’ve said to Llew, that’s it. No more. No more come-on-over-and-drink-me-out-of-house-and-home-and-spill-and-break-my-shit. No-really-please-do–because-I-can’t-get-enough-of-the-way-you-trash-my-property. It turns out I can get enough, and I am so, so, so done with that. We can meet out in future. It’s better this way. 

And that was just the tip of the iceberg, but I woke up Saturday morning still fuming about my soiled couch. Llew did a masterful job getting most of it out, but I found some tiny shards today, and there’s a spray of red wine he missed. But (deep breaths, moving right along…) the news wasn’t getting better. First, the fertility meds aren’t working. Then, en route to Nana’s to start the job of packing her flat up, I checked my P.O. Box downtown to find I did not win one of the Australian Society of Authors (ASA) mentorships. I burst into tears, screamed at Llew, and we had a big fight in the car while parked in an alleyway like two smackies badly in need of a hit. Both of us felt depleted and miserable afterwards – and that was before getting to Nana’s and assessing that particular challenge. Luckily Llewie and I stopped at a tiny and absurdly cheap Indonesian diner for satay sticks and noodles before heading to Musty Fusty Retirement Village, and we talked about lots of things and generally pulled ourselves together. We like each other a lot, and so fighting is always a big shock, especially in broad daylight when no one’s been on the turps. Most of our fights, the shameful truth be told, have occurred because someone (who, me?) kicked off after too many drinky-poos. Throw in a full moon and an empty stomach and it’s actually surprising I’ve not been arrested. No wonder we’re both liking me more now I’m moderate… Anyway, that’s for other (and several past) posts. Today is about RANTING and getting these irritants off my chest. 

Is anyone still reading? 

Things have a way of bottlenecking (oh, she loves a pun), don’t you think? I wonder why that is – and is it actual or imagined? Either way, good bye, last week, and heeeeeeello brand spanking new week full of potential and possibility… I’m coming with you!



  1. litlove said,

    Oh I’m still reading! I would have been mad about the couch, too. I am completely ANAL about my new (still unfinished) kitchen and barely let my husband touch it, let alone spill stuff over it. I might let a friend look at it from a distance. Going out is a good option. And I feel that somewhere in the marriage contract they should insert a clause about the necessity of rowing with people you really love to get tension off your chest. Everyone does it, and it’s the safest and best way in many cases of dealing with negativity. Keeping it in the family, as it were! You have to argue to see what’s wrong about life and then get it fixed. Which it sounds as if you did. All the other rows in our household are about low blood sugar – so mostly I feed people every three hours or so. Here’s to next week being much better – I’m sure it will be!

  2. Lilian Nattel said,

    That was a rotten weekend. I’m sorry about the disappointment re the mentorship. And trying for a baby is just hard. Even without the side-effects of meds which can be maddening. As for your friend, meeting out is a good solution – or giving her a special plastic glass for colourless liquids. I hope this week is better!

  3. doctordi said,

    I think low blood sugar was part of it, Litlove. I get the hungry crazies really, really badly, and I was tired and emotional before we even got in the car. I shouldn’t have checked the mail, but I couldn’t help myself. JB, one of the Darklings, got her notification, so when Llew said there was a mail alert at the box, I just knew that was it, and so the tension just built and built until I burst. But your new pristine kitchen sounds lovely – you want me to send someone round to break it in for you? I know just the girl.

    Thanks, Lilian. I think maybe the stress of recent Nana events make it somewhat unsurprising that I’ve had no success on the meds. I wonder if anything will change once all the flat stuff is done? And I’m okay about the mentorship thing now. I tend to move through the seven stages of grief at a pretty brisk clip when it comes to rejection. I’m really getting used to it. I don’t even think I would have cried had it not been for all the other stuff that had preceded it. This week HAS been better so far, thanks!

  4. Grad said,

    “Doctor Grad will see you now.” It was perfectly reasonable for you to be upset about the spillage and smash-age. It’s okay, you know, to get pissed off when you have a good reason to be. I’m sorry to say this about your friend; but, no one is THAT careless unless they have some sort of physical problem or they just don’t care. You should banish her from your kingdom is she persists. She should also have offered to pay for a professional to come in and clean your sofa. As for the mentorship, of course you were upset. That was a normal, healthy reaction too. And ditto when it comes to the stress in administering someone else’s affairs and the fertility meds. Sounds to me as though you have reacted to all these stressors appropriately. I’ll send you my bill for this advice – which should screw up the new week for you as well. :>

  5. doctordi said,

    Dearest, sweetest Grad, I just read your new post, so I know you had a pretty awful and sad weekend yourself, and yet here you are trying to buck me up. You’re just lovely, you know that?

  6. doctordi said,

    By the way, we haven’t heard a word from her since. No call in the sober light of day to say ‘Oh my god, I am so sorry about your couch,’ nothing. Banished from the kingdom is right – I’m getting the court calligraphers to write up the scrolls now, and the town crier is gargling down at the square.

  7. Simonne said,

    Your blog is wonderful! I resonated a lot with this post. The fertility stuff and the ASA stuff – not that I’ve applied for a mentorship (am thinking about it though), but have been applying for funding and submitting stories etc for what seems like a long time now, and hanging out for something REALLY cool, you know?!

  8. doctordi said,

    Hi Simonne. Welcome to DoctorDi – and thanks! I think I really need to start telling myself that’s what I’m doing – “hanging out for something REALLY cool” – I love that! It’s not rejection at all. No, no – it’s DISCERNMENT, specifically yours and mine. I like it. I’m definitely going to use it.

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