Well, my friends, it’s Week 20 of the pregnancy: we have officially reached the halfway mark. Llew thinks it’s all whizzing by at a great rate; I am finding it the slowest process in the known universe. Twenty weeks down and… gee, only another twenty more to go – what, pray tell, is fast about that?? It’s an age. And it’s really quite alarming to imagine what another twenty weeks is going to do to my waistline… I can’t visualise the scale of it, but Baby J is certainly beginning to make his or her physical presence felt, and I think there’s a pretty good chance this baby is about to go rogue.
We had the 19-week ultrasound on Friday, and A from Sydney Ultrasound for Women confirmed our little friend is tracking “on the big end of average.” On the monitor, Baby J gave a dismissive little wave as if to say, “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet. And for my next trick, watch this.”
I could have sworn I inflated further that very instant, while onscreen Baby J languidly flexed and stretched and made like a concert pianist (it must have been the Beethoven…). Then again, they were running behind schedule, and at that point I’d been forced to hold for an excruciating two hours, so there’s a very good chance I was about to explode because of my bladder, not my baby.
All looked good at the ultrasound: we have the correct number of digits, two working kidneys, a beautiful looking heart (A was very happy with the heart), and so on. Hallelujah. Basically Baby J passed this latest test with flying colours. I actually got misty during this one – my usual habit is to tear up alone afterwards, usually on a cold toilet seat somewhere – as there was something especially overwhelming about it. Counting fingers and toes made it all suddenly seem real.
I still can’t feel Baby J moving around in there, but I heard her or his heartbeat only a couple of hours ago at Dr F’s, so I’m just going to try to be patient. Apparently the placenta is lying across the front of my stomach, which is absorbing the movement. And the placenta is low, which may mean I won’t be able to deliver naturally, if it ends up blocking access to my cervix. Both A and Dr F said it was far too early to tell, but it does mean I’ll have to have another scan between 32-34 weeks to decide the issue. Personally I would prefer to do it naturally, so I hope it resolves itself as they both suggest it might, but it’s an early refresher course in the difference between what one wants and what may happen regardless. I would have preferred to conceive naturally too, but the fact that I couldn’t was a good lesson in embracing the alternative. I may be forced to do the same here, and as long as the baby and I both emerge safe and well, I really don’t ask for more. In fact, in the final analysis I’m sure I won’t care less. If I can deliver naturally, great, and if I can’t, why on earth worry any further about it? I’m a big believer in accepting the things one cannot change. Anyway, time will tell.