Back on Sydney Time

October 10, 2012 at 3:11 am (Uncategorized)

Time is an eccentric and cruel mistress. In the past week she’s snapped shut like a teenage girl having second thoughts, so that our time away seems to have been erased from history. Now we are back, and everything is just as we left it, we can hardly believe we were ever gone at all.

Our travels commenced 5.5 months ago – a good portion of any year. We were overseas for 4.5 of that…and yet time has concertinaed now, a folded fan keeping all its secrets. People frown when we answer the question of how long we’ve been away, shaking their heads and saying, “Really? It doesn’t feel like that long,” which only has the effect of making it true. One friend swam against the tide yesterday by saying she had really felt the length of our absence, but for most it seems it’s passed as a quickened heartbeat at best.

The Touring Toddler saw one of his little Mothers’ Group friends yesterday – and he’ll see a couple more today – picking up where they left off with a delighted play along the beachfront. Though we’re not yet back living in Man Town, it’s a relatively simple matter of driving here from Palm Beach and I’ll be doing it regularly if we end up staying at Palmie for longer.*

We are very, very fortunate people. We’re so lucky to be able to stay at Palm Beach at all – if you can’t live in your own home for a while, there are few alternatives more beautiful than this. Palm Beach is where they film the TV series Home & Away, in case you’re familiar with that, and it’s a really stunning part of Sydney, the meeting place between Pittwater and the Pacific, the lush cliff-top home to a lighthouse as picturesque as it is practical.

Though it is zoned as the northernmost suburb of Sydney, to me it is far enough away to acquire a separate identity. It is not a place full of young families, though, because few young families can afford to even contemplate living here. No, Palm Beach is often the rich reward of the retirees who dominate the demographic. Like any small community the place is lousy with minor intrigues, petty grievances and fraught friendships, and while Llew and I exist well outside his parents’ social set, one does grow curious about the population. Many have been hugely successful in their field, and there’s usually a smattering of new OBEs once the Queen’s list is announced. But ultimately life still coils itself around much smaller moments, tightening like a boa constrictor as it ages, so that earlier triumphs recede and we are all eventually humbled by failing minds, brittle bones and Time’s erratic yet conclusive plan for each of us.

As I write, a handsome, broad-backed kookaburra surveys the vista from a naked frangipani tree that remains starkly bald after the bitter winter I can still feel in the air. We are both turned west, facing Pittwater. Occasional sailing craft drifts by, headed for Lion Island or perhaps open water, and the reserve between here and the rippled blue is alive with birdsong and the rustling leaves of so many mighty eucalypts. It is very Australian, this scene, including as it does the unlovely hills hoist heavy with the day’s laundry, the whole flooded in the unmistakable intensity of Australian sun, and I accept that Sydney does and always shall stake a fierce claim on my heart. But I don’t need to be here to honour my affection, and Time shall divulge what she alone knows in due course.

* Postscript: It’s the next day, and the Touring Toddler’s play-date yesterday with three of his MG mates was such a huge success that he wept inconsolably from Seaforth to Dee Why, plainly devastated to be parted from them having been so successfully reunited. Looks like I’ll be making the trip back to Man Town at least once more this week.


  1. litlove said,

    I know exactly what you mean. Time is so peculiar the way it tucks great shards of life into its folds. Palm Beach sounds lovely and it’s great that the TT has been reunited so successfully with his friends. But I imagine that not being sure what comes next makes time in the present feel very odd, too. It’s certainly that way for me right now.

  2. Lilian Nattel said,

    I was thinking of you this morning. There were 2 Aussies in front of me in the line for the train. Yes time is peculiar. I wonder where it’ll take you next.

  3. jenniferscoullar said,

    Such heartbreakingly beautiful writing! I’m quite jealous …

  4. Grad said,

    Maybe Time will take you to Savannah, Georgia, y’all.

  5. Pete said,

    So good to be reading your writing again (and love the beautiful descriptions of Sydney). I so rarely get to read blogs these days but I think it’s just a matter of prioritising and finding the time. Yay for TT’s reunited friendships. And I hope you’re back in ManTown soon (although Palm Beach sounds suitably grand, not to mention Californian).

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